oh, god, i can't do this

i'm going to be a terrible blogger.  i hate what i write.  what i've written so far is stupid and not "me" somehow.  why is this different from the very blog-like notes i write on facebook?  this seems so much more vulnerable.  on facebook, i "share," but on this blog it feels more like i've told everyone at the party to sit down and stop talking because i'm going to tell a story.

it's like writing it in a blog post carries some implicit claim that it is worth reading, and i should carefully craft each piece to make sure it is aesthetically valuable.  this is why i can't call myself a writer.  motherfuck.

you know what?  i'm going to push on.  this isn't the paris fucking review.  it is a blog, a web log.  and a log is just a record.  if someone comes and reads and thinks it sucks, he or she can just not read it again.  i want to use this thing for me.   it's partially about writing, and partially about establishing an online place to interact with others that isn't facebook.  i believe facebook has totally made my life richer and more thoughtful, and deepened and change many of my relationships in significant ways.  i do, however, have some serious concerns about facebook's data privacy practices and zuckerberg's cavalier attitude and machiavellian sensibility around users' information.  SO, i'd like to find some sort of social networking methadone as i consider cutting down, and i'm starting here.

here's my statement of intention:  it's just for whatever i want, it can be a series of responses to question memes, reposting of facebook notes, status-update-like posts of whatever ideas drift through the transom of my mind, too much information about my gastrointestinal or reproductive health, or pictures of my cats.  i will stay the course!